Why I’m not podcasting right now.

So, when this lockdown started 250days ago – I was pumped! “Yay, this is the time I’ll take to produce more content, I can do an episode a week and a blog every other day. This is going to be great!”…. Then maybe 10 days in, I just couldn’t make it. I recorded ‘Episode 12 – #CoronaGate : Dating & Weddings’ and I just lost all motivation to get behind the mic.

It was strange. I enjoy podcasting so much because I get to discuss my thoughts and explain myself like I’m having a chat. But this season has made me want to be still. In a lot of areas of my life, not just the podcast. I feel like there is so much pressure everywhere you turn to “create, produce, learn something new, start a business, new income stream” the list goes on!

And it doesn’t help that work has been super busy too! Shoutout to everyone working a full time job & has some sort of side hustle!

And actually, what I have learnt about myself through this season, is that a lot of the new things I have wanted to learn are focused on creating something for myself. Really focusing on producing things that are beneficial to my personal development & wellbeing. Rather than producing content for people to see that I’m being productive.

So, like everyone else I am cooking more – finally trying out new dishes that as “a wife” I have always wanted to master. And I am nowhere near mastering them granted. But I’m getting more accustomed to some of my “wife duties” that when all the hustle & bustle is happening I never have time for. And with this, I’m not super traditional but I am extremely house-proud. Cleaning has never been a problem for me but cooking… mmm I can cook well enough to feed myself and my husband. And I have a couple of great dishes. But we don’t really have visitors and moments to entertain in our house, so I don’t often cook for others. Which is a good thing most times but it does make me anxious about what I’ll feed people whenever they do come into my home. So, I’m using this season to try an experiment a little and get a bit more confident in the kitchen.

I am also spending time with my husband. Being newlyweds, we moved in together then just got on with the 9-5 and commuting life that allows us to pay our bills. At the weekends we are normally juggling between families so are rarely at home. But in lockdown times it’s just the two of us. We’ve had time to pause. Get to know each other more. Communicate better. And importantly refocus our year plan in regard to finances, dreams & goals. Which has been amazing!

I’m learning to style my natural hair. Which is erm… interesting! But something I have always wanted to be able to do. I’m an unintentional member of the #NaturalHairClub and I’m always in awe of how other people can style and look after their hair but I literally never put the time behind learning. Where they have. How can I compare myself to them without the practice? So, I’m giving that a go in preparation of the slaying that the world will be given when outside is open again ha!

And another thing which I really want to achieve out of this season if it isn’t a new skill. Is to master what I do well already. I no longer want to be able to do stuff at a substandard level but instead perfect what my strengths are. More so spend time identifying what those strengths are. This has been one of my biggest challenges for a long while and not knowing what I am good at or if I’m good at anything has fed into many of my insecurities and fears… Maybe a post for another time.

But back to the podcast – its nearly a year old and I’ve learnt a lot through that time and I’ve made some improvements. But right now I’m focusing on what can I do better to make it even more worthwhile to my listeners. That’s my focus. Whether its software, apps, YT videos etc then that’s what I need to focus on and that has been the main reason for the silence. Not recording for the sake of being able to say “hey guys here’s 10 new episodes” that aren’t adding as much value as I would like them to.  

So, if you’re wondering why you haven’t heard from me for a while. As in literally heard from me. Get it? Because it’s a podcast.. never mind! Then that’s why. I’m still here and dedicated to giving you more episodes with more life experiences, hosts, lessons & more but just give me a sec.

I’ll be back before you know it!

And to you, whatever your grind is working full time, entrepreneur, multiple income stream queen – whatever your thing is. Use this time well. Decide for yourself what you want to come out of this. One thing is for sure, none of us will come out of this the same as we went in. But let’s try make sure we come out better versions, wiser, recharged, more self-aware and hopefully more grateful for overcoming a season that many never did.