So, I am newly married woman and well the obvious question I get all the time is “how does it feel to be married?” and well that answer seems straightforward technically but honestly… being married so far feels like nothing has changed but yet everything has, does that make sense?
I mean of course everything is different, a husband, a family, a new home, new neighbourhood and a whole new routine. But I’m still me. You know I am still on a commute to work with the same job, same colleagues and same to do list. So, it’s not as easy to sum up.
With only a month under my belt of marriage I certainly am enjoying the journey so far. We are making our first home, figuring out the kind of life we want to make and importantly trying to learn each other and how to make decisions together. When they tell you “it’s not about you anymore, there’s someone else to consider” they do mean it! Whether it’s a big or small decision you suddenly find yourself just double checking with yourself… ‘is this selfish, should I check with him first, if I don’t check will that come across like I don’t care, if I do ask does that mean I don’t know him well enough?!’ And so on and on so on! Most of the time it’s never really that serious – I mean you have known this person for some time before you chose to marry them and move in.. I hope! The only difference is now they never leave, when you say ‘home’ you are referring to the same space now and that is ultimately the best thing about it.
If like us you waited until you were married to live together, the idea of living with your best friend is amazing and fun. And in a short space of time you see yourself changing ever so slightly – like engaging in conversations about Arsenal and whether Xhaka should really stay as captain after being so rude… I mean sis what happened to you! The change is small, its present and doesn’t stop.
And I think really that is how I would sum up marriage to be like so far… two people, growing, learning, changing slowly and choosing to do it every day. Some days are easy, other days not so much but look at it this way, you get to figure it out together and laugh about it when it goes completely left.
If anything, the one thing this new chapter has taught me so far is that life can change in a way you never expected. I sometimes sit in our apartment and just look around like ‘wow this is really my life now’. I remember not too long ago thinking it all wasn’t possible, and it would never happen for me. But it did. And I suppose my point is just that, it could happen for you too. Whatever “IT” looks like for you. And don’t let anyone tell you any different. It might not be straight away, but it will.
“So how does it feel to be married?” I will revisit the question again in 6 months and let you know.