All of my stuff…

I wrote this a few weeks ago, when the world was a simpler place and leaving the house to visit your loved ones was pretty ordinary. But reading back on it, thought our current climate is one that has come with many unknowns, I thought I’d share this anyway. We are all going through such a plethora of emotions and thoughts at this time and hopefully this will be useful to someone…

In my moments of thought and reflection many things come to my mind. Normally a combination between either past memories or wishful ideas. Some joyful, some funny, some I can hardly believe I ever forgot about, then there comes the rare moment I remember some of the painful times too. You know those times that were authorised by a young mind who knew no better? At the time – in the real time of those experiences – my heartbreaks, pain and insecurities were so real that one would have thought I could have never survived. Anyone else ever have that? When you were in your teens singing songs like ‘Ray J – One wish’ thinking you had a clue haha!

So, I thought it was worth sharing this beautiful poem, that once resonated so deeply and intently with everything I once felt. The poem is read out by a character named Juanita in the film ‘For Coloured Girls’ (highly recommended) and this is for the girl who may be going through a heartbreak or trying to save themselves from one.

And I know when people hear the word ‘heartbreak’ they think of the traditional scenario of boy meets girl, girl and boy start a relationship then boy ditches girl or vice versa leading to = heartbreak. But now that I’m older that phrase means and accounts for so many other scenarios; the loss of a loved one, a betrayal in marriage, ill health determining your life and more. The list is endless. 

Whatever it is you’re facing pay attention to the fact that the main word is “almost”. You are still whole with all your belongings, just make sure you keep them close. And next time don’t let anyone think they could attempt to walk off with any part of you ever again. Ever.

Somebody almost walked off with all of my stuff and didn’t care enough to send a note home saying “I was late for my solo conversation” or “two sizes too small for my own tacky skirts”. What can anybody do with something of no value on an open market? Did you get a dime for my things? Hey, man! Where are you going with all of my stuff? This is a woman’s trip and I need my stuff to “Ooh” and “Ah” about. Honest to God, somebody almost ran off with all of my stuff and I didn’t bring anything but the kick and sway of it. The perfect ass for my man and none of it is theirs. This is mine, Juanita’s own things. That’s my name. Now give me my stuff. I see you hiding my laugh and how I sit with my legs open sometimes to give my crotch some sunlight. This is some delicate leg and whimsical kiss. I gotta have to give to my choice. So you can’t have me unless I give me away. And I was doing all that till you ran off on a good thing. And who is this you left me with? Some simple bitch with a bad attitude? I want my things. I want my arm with the hot iron scar. I want my leg with the flea bite. Yeah, I want my things. I want my calloused feet and quick language back in my mouth. I want my own things. How I loved them. Somebody almost ran off with all of my stuff and I was standing there looking at myself the whole time. It wasn’t a spirit that ran off with my stuff. It was a man whose ego walked ’round like Rodan’s shadow. It was a man faster than my innocence. It was a lover I made too much room for. Almost ran off with all my stuff and the one running with it don’t know he got it. I’m shouting, “This is mine!” and he don’t even know he got it. My stuff is the anonymous ripped-off treasure of the year. Did you know somebody almost got away with me? Me, in a plastic bag under his arm. Me, Juanita Sims. Somebody almost walked off with all my stuff.