Wedding planning – what they don’t tell you

So, I gave some advice earlier on the world of wedding planning and well there’s a few things that no one ever really tells you about.

Well no one told me that’s for sure! And if they did I wish they had written it down and reminded me every other month or so.  

• You will start to lose friends… & maybe family

Now I had heard this before, but I thought it was a vicious rumour and would never happen to me, because I obviously had better friends than those in the vine. Well… I was wrong!

Bear in mind when I say you lose friends and family, I don’t mean in an obvious malicious kind of manner – trust me there’s a few of those too – but ultimately, it’s a subtle transition as you are evolving into the upcoming chapter of your life and it comes from a change in mentality and priorities.

Getting married is a big deal and the planning process can take over your whole life. It’s not just about the wedding, you’re in the process of building a family, moulding relationships with new family members and trying to reinforce relationships with your own family. And sometimes it just feels like there isn’t enough time in the day.

The concept of “your circle/village” really comes into play here. And you learn quickly who you want to be around and whose really there for you. You will also learn and that those that are wishing you well, don’t always mean well.

For example, everywhere you turn people are quick to congratulate you, ask you whether you’ve bought your dress, how he proposed, you know all that fluffy stuff. And that is normally concluded with one of the two following statements “can’t wait to get my invite” or “I already have my outfit for the wedding”. Erm….okay then.

Only a handful of these encounters actually have people who are genuinely checking in on you or asking if there is anything they can help you with. And let’s be clear it’s not that the only thing you want to gain is their help, but you start to notice who is really there for you. So, if you know a bride-to-be in the planning process somewhere, just check in on them. You don’t have to talk about the wedding just see how they are doing and how they are feeling about the life changing journey they are embarking on.

• You are forced to get real with your reality

Mentally, spiritually, emotionally & financially the wedding planning will bring up any issues you’ve been avoiding. So, let’s say you & your soon to be spouse have not done much financial intertwining beforehand… then you will learn!

Those buried family issues will come to light as you learn dynamics and meet new people. The guest list discussions alone can do this!!

And it’s all a learning process but I think as its new territory for you, it’s also new territory for your partner. Communicate with each other about everything.

• The wedding diet isn’t what it’s cut out to be

The pressure is very real to look your best for your big day but honestly, it’s a hard time to diet. You’re busy, tired & if like me and Dapo you live apart so any free time you do have gets consumed with spending time together rather than at the gym.

On top of that if like me you are a comfort eater, there will be days you just want to eat whatever you like. Allow yourself those days when they come – you will look great on the day no matter what!

So, ease the pressure you’re putting on yourself and don’t feel too bad about having a burger in an actual bun with the chips! Haha.

All in all, the wedding planning is an massive journey and you will learn a heck of a lot from absolutely everyone around you; yourself, your partner, your family, his family the list goes on!

But it does always work out. I promise you. Once that date is set you will get through it no matter what comes your way. To the brides of 2020 here’s to you!